dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
