So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
