So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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