Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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