so let's talk penis.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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