no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
