If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
