I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
