My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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