so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize