Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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