the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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