You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
