hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
