bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
