Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
