Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
