I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
