We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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