If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
