Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
