omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
