I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
