so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
