Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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