I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize