He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Four minutes until I can fart!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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