Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
