I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
