and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
