new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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