White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
