I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
