Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my vag is so smooth its legendary
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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