Got a toothbrush?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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