Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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