I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
