We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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