her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
