you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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