Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
