then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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