If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i've created a new STD.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
