you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
