All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
