A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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