i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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