i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize