I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
