they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
