The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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