Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
