Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you traded sex for a burrito?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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