his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
