and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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