how can u be prego again
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
