i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
