paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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