my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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