Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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