what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's rum buckets o'clock
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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