Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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