please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
