Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
