if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
