The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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