just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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