Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
