I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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