Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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