Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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