Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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