I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
