Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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