How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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