You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
