areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
