he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
organizing the empties. That sober.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
