I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
